Ego Part 2
You are here because you want to start the journey back to your core true self.
And not sure how.
You discovered your fake performative identity (ego) and you admitted to yourself that you were performing it. You tried to be different, you even picked up some of the old hobbies you used to like to do, but not much really changed.
What now? you ask.
You have to understand something, that this will be likely lengthy process- depending how deep are the roots of the ego in you and how well the ego conditioned you.
We have to also admit that the ego became energetic entity at this point and it’s feeding of your energy. So naturally it won’t let go off that easily.
Do not fear now- because fear is failure!
Let’s begin.
You need to become literally that meme
Step back and observe your mind.
Start practicing not identifying yourself with your thoughts.
Say: “I am not my thoughts”
And let the mind yap, remember you are not it. You are observing it. Continue this practice and journal the shit out of if.
When writing the journal use 3rd person. Do not use ‘I’ , ‘Me’ at any circumstance in writing.
Write: “<Your Name here> felt stressed today because (…)”
What this will do, it will start to created the gap, slow disconnection between you and the ego.
I want you to notice when you starting to defend yourself and why. And when and why things are bothering you.
At 1st you will resist. You will say: “ofc I’m mad she said this and that to me or he was an asshole- fuck that guy”
Fake identity will try to hide behind the reasons. But slow down, watch carefully.
Ask: “Who is unhappy?” Do not jump into answering ‘ME’. Step back and watch.
And journal again and again.
I know some of you by now will say fuck that shit and go back to temporary warm blanket of old identity. But also some of you will fucking do it, because you’re sick and tired of being the way you are.
Ok back to topic.
Obvious ego insertions:
Ego loves to argue because it thinks that there is something to lose or gain in the argument. Of course it wants to be better higher than the other. It is judgemental of others. Is jealous. Ego sets goals that are the end, and not care about means.
For example, I noticed that I never did anything for sake of having joy of doing it (or at least rarely) but always there was end goal to achieve and the result determined my worth.
Everything was based on end the result not the process, and entire worth is tied to end of that result.
This is classic Ego.
In cases like this Ego is wearing a mask of you being ambitious.
It will come at you wearing many different coats pretending to represent something else. And a lot of societal norms reinforces the ego. Guess why? (Ekhm.. someone is benefiting of it- because ego is predictable mechanism)
As you continue to wrestle long enough with it, you will begin to discover ego tricks.
It will be obvious for you when ego is trying to insert itself, claim the progress you’ve made etc. You will see from miles away “ohoh, the trigger is coming” , “ego is not happy”
Sometimes you will catch yourself mid argument and ask: “what am I arguing about, who am I trying to defend here?”
And those will be the signs that your ego death is coming.
Be Mindful
Very important. As you go on this inner journey you will inevitably notice the Ego in others– and it will make you mad that others still playing that game. You will say to yourself: “look at them, not doing any work on themselves, freaking ignorants”
And guess what?
That was Ego! Haha
Trying to claim your progress. This is a final trick of an Ego.
Be aware of it. You might be doing the work but if you still compare yourself to others and feeling superior because of the knowledge you have and work you doing- it means the ego is still there.
Hiding, hijacking your spiritual journey lol.
Wow, imagine the gymnastics it must do, poor ego doesn’t want to let go 🤣
This brings us to the next point of:
FORGIVENESS.
To continue click here